Fluent in Fashion?

Nowadays if you don’t know about fashion you are no-one. Fashion is a language in itself, fashion is a Right in itself and it has become terribly fashionable to talk about fashion. Actors (inside which I clearly include women, if not only women, but we are being PC), give the whole acting thing a go, dip their finger in that pot, maybe streak across a stage or two and then *drumroll* …Fashion! Suddenly they make the local, inter and national tabloids because they got on the wrong side of gale force winds and have (unwittingly) revealed their underwear thus causing a Fashion raucous. Not naming names, we are of course not talking about a Miss Watson of the Harry Potter Family, who is Burberry’s new face and Guerlain’s new face/scent. But it is this amount of fashionable noise they make that propels them swiftly to a catwalk somewhere between Home and Fashion Week Eastern Time, and thus lands them squarely in the palms of a fashion designer who will make their present and future very fashionable indeed! How many of you hate the word fashion already? Well, not enough by any stretch of fabric – myself included.

When I went to the wedding last week it made me think about the fashion world a bit; there I was dressed in what looked like a tye-dyed bit of the sky, next to a terribly shiny purple aunt and looking quite stunned at the enormous amount of people clad from head to toe in black. Sitting back on my heels I wondered where on earth my memo of the new black being black had been way-laid to. I thought about it some more as I kept catching glimpses of another brave soul not dressed in black; hers was an outfit boasting inspiration from a golden sunset, rippling with her fashionable non-curves and flashing a cheeky shoulder in the fashionable off-the-shoulder style hitting all catwalks and high street shops.

Apparently this season we are not just doing straight black, it is black with a twist and a stud. Rhianna has swept across our magazines and celebrity news channels, not to mention fashion weeks sufficiently enough that we all know how she rocks; with straps and studs and black and funky and sharp and so overly fashionable, only she can follow her style. We have tried though, we have bags by Cavalli: gold and stud and other accessories and shoes care of Jimmy Choo that are blinging up the black in a rock chick kinda way; as are Mango for those of us short of a few Jimmy-Choo-bob or two.

Fear not, ‘tis not all doom and gloom, United Colours of Benetton (UCB) are all things colour and mismatch in this world of ours. Although slightly in their own world, like me and maths and geography, politics, physics...well the list would be endless and would do wonders to highlight the downfall of the British education system (I can blame them, right? They’ll never come looking for me…) but instead, the colours of UCB serve to show us that you can do this season’s ‘slacks’ look in more shades than black, white, cream and charcoal. The slacks look by the way, is one being paraded by Chloé and popular singer/style icon Roisin Murphey. Team the slacks up with heels and you’re off. Sexy, smart-casual look down to a T. My only problem is the heels part…

Let me make a slight interval here and share with you something that my contact lenses and I have noticed recently: it is a common factor that we have running throughout the ages: We repeat stuff. I am a wise old bean, I know. It’s what 21 years, Google, parents, family members and more time spent reading magazines than living life has done for me. I have managed to realize that we repeat stuff. We repeat fashion, we repeat conflicts, pandemics, mistakes and successes, and we repeat life threatening situations or those that do not risk enough or do so too late. Perhaps it is an innate way of life to copy previous actions, something along the lines of better the devil you know than the one you’re not too friendly with yet – or something like that. Perhaps it is because we are scared of the unknown or do not have the courage to leap into something new and try and make a go of that. Perhaps some would argue that by repeating things what we achieve is to better them, make ‘em shinier than before…

Now, please, if there is somebody out there who can tell me what can be made shinier and better and more appealing by bringing back padded shoulder – really, I’m all ears. In my boarding school part of the uniform was a blaser. I, as previously mentioned am not petite and thus have the back of an athlete, or a working horse, whichever you prefer, so shopping for the uniform meant there was not a back span that fit me in the girl’s sizes. This lead to rummaging through the boy’s side, which also meant that the blasers were not tailored and THIS in turn meant I looked like I was the walking advertisement for the Under 16’s Female Rugby Team. And much to my utter amazement, the shoulders are back in fashion.

I love fashion, I do. You may think after reading this that I am against all things fashion and think we should all be clad in patchwork quilts. But no, I follow the fashion trends nearly religiously and find it interesting how designers combine the old and new, the black and the blacker and how a designer will suddenly unveil his or her new line for the season and call it the ‘Now’ and the ‘Future’ when in fact it is simply rewinding our eyes back to yesteryear [and their shoulders]. I was just shocked if not perhaps a tad disappointed to see we couldn’t do better than jazzing up black. Black suits, shoes, makeup and the dramatic effect is served. It does look good, it does look suave but is the real designer talent not reflected in the ability to wear colours and combine them with different lips and hair colours? Though quite frankly, considering that the ‘in’ lip is a red one, the outfit should be one that does not clash. In a catwalk a few weeks ago, if not a month, the front row was filled with big names in black, shades, pale/clean faces and red lips; were it not for the different dimensions of body (and shoulders), they all looked the same!

Fashion is about being individual, making a statement about who you are – not making a statement about how good you and your neighbour can share a look, it’s Boring and it’s Black. We all have idols because it’s nice to put your faith or like to think you put your faith in someone whose life is all over the tabloids and catwalks like a designer rash, but would it hurt to use our noggins every so often and try and change the patterns? Better said, ignore the patterns and make way for a new shade of black and - heaven-above-forbid - wide hips instead of wide shoulders? Maybe it’s my thoughts on the matter, or maybe it’s fashion food for thought.