Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Forgive me, for I know I have sinned; this year I write to you electronically. But it’s all the craze. It does not mean I will be e-mailing you this letter as the grumpy elf you have at the front desk would not disclose that information.

How he seems to think an e-mail address is more personal than the fact that everybody knows you live right smack in the middle of the North Pole, I don’t know! Either way, I shall be posting a formal complaint about said elf as he was nothing but obtuse. And I feel that is not behaviour befitting one who ought to be very grateful for such a loyal customer as myself! I mean, heavens! My yearly Christmas wish list doubles all others. And without mine you would all feel quite lost, I’m sure.

Suffice to say, this year I did think ahead and found myself in a very generous frame of mind and thought I would help you out a bit. I sent the original list 3 months ago via recorded delivery. No thanks needed, I have done my good deeds for the year.

My dear Santa, I did think it would also be nice for me to write to you separately and acknowledge that you are more than a make-up facilitating, perfume producing, handbag sprouting, shallow dream fulfilling, white beard toting, toy manufacturing, joy enthusing, reindeer riding man in red! You are also a person who no doubt enjoys a quiet Sunday slumped in front of a roaring fire [whilst reading my blog].

And so I thought I would write and entertain you for a while with some silly tales and help take off a load from a hard days’ work with the elves. They can be such moody things can’t they?

Well now, I did have an entire line up of funny stories for you, but it has to be said that my first new year’s resolution is to work on my memory. My second is to remember the first. And leading on from this we move swiftly over the fact I cannot remember the tales I was to regale you with. Apologies, but then, perfection would be boring would it not?

One thing I would like to talk with you about though, are holidays and times of rest. I know you reputedly rest throughout the year, but we all know that’s not true! Mrs Clause has us ladies well informed about your general lack of sleep and how much preparing for the ‘big day’ takes it out of you! All work and no play makes Santa something we shant say!

I for example find myself living a fabulous year, as I am at home. The family home, which is delightful. It just means that for the awaited reprieve of Christmas holidays one enjoys the idea of retreating home to recover. But me, I look forward to re-retreating back to my bedroom - and believe you me, those four walls couldn’t find it in them to change even if I paid them!

So dear Santa, I would understand should you decide to put your clone from Eastern Europe, Santushka, to work this season. Perhaps you should join me on a holiday to end the year in peace and be raring to go as Big Ben chimes 2010?

I hope you take my advice, as for once, I intend on doing just that. Sit back, relax and let someone else send me my presents, perhaps?





All my love,

Nur



P.S I hope this draft actually makes it to you before getting completely incinerated in the chimney.

P.P.S Merry Christmas and I look forward to entertaining you with more blogs in the new year!