Forget-me-not OAP

It is in the air. It is a terrible thing afflicting us all. There is no reputed cure as all attempts to dash it have failed. It can cause confusion on a huge scale; disorientation; dribbling; deterioration of sight; disintegration of bones and finally, death.

It is a thing that hovers in the air and threatens all. In this era of high tech medicine, we would have thought we were nothing but safe. And if not safe, then at least that there were sufficient amount of drugs in the Overpriced Pharmaceutical Pantry to make a good pretense of being able to fix us up good and proper! But no, I am living proof that it is contagious and quite frankly, just gets worse with every passing day.

Do not be mistaken, I am not talking about the menopause, which in my opinion is a state of affairs if not a disease, that is not given sufficient attention. It really does cause one to be utterly ill at ease. And it is transferable as I have suffered from having the hot flushes passed on to me. When I say I am wiser than my years, I really mean it.

I am actually referring to Old Age symptoms. They are a horrific thing. It happens to all and I have come to the opinion it is also a transferable. My grandmother for example, has been telling me she is 105 for the past umpteen years. She is as fit as a fiddle, more or less, looks wonderful for a woman sporting 71 years (which means great older years await me), but she keeps saying she is old. She is old and therefore cannot do as she used to. She is old and does not remember things like she used to. She is old and does not understand things she wished she would…

…I am 21 and I have great difficulty in telling you what I did yesterday, never mind last week! I also forget what I am saying mid sentence and what I have walked into a room to do. (The latter can be fixed by walking backwards into the room where the idea was born, for all you struggling with the same problem.) My eyesight fails me to such an extent that I make up flight details, consequently causing myself to miss flights. I invent conversations I think I’ve had with people, or rather not, and get told off for not having told people certain things, when actually, in my head, I could even reproduce the exact conversation (we did not have). Compared to me, my granny’s got it good!

Plainly and simply, rather than the excuse of old age-itis, it is called Losing Ones Marbles. “Hello my name is Nur and I can’t tell you when I lost my marbles exactly, as I cannot for the life of me remember.”

My theory is that we live such terribly fast paced lives that what we in fact spend our days doing, with both good and bad repercussions, is multi tasking our thoughts. It is this act that makes us, (and when I say ‘us’ please note I mainly mean me), have our thoughts scattered everywhere. We live in an age full of super fast technologies that evolve even faster. And somewhere along the line that has been the evolution of mankind and its exhaust pipes, we thought we had to have minds that functioned as fast as the machines.

This has ended up with us short circuiting into thinking we have lost our marbles. There are constantly little snippet articles advising people on how best to cope with the stress they feel and their loss of memory.

The real solution to said problem is that we should follow the example of our limbs. We only have two on top and two down below. Therefore we should only think as much as we can do. You wouldn’t try and pile four hundred things in your hands at one time, would you? So why would you laden your mind with them? This, my fellow forgetfulls could be the key to fighting the symptoms of the dreaded old age.

Now, prepare yourselves because there is one other key element to combating this state which stresses and worries us all so much. It is a method that has been developed by professionals in the field and has an absolutely solid reputation. This study will change your lives. Now, if only I could remember what it was…