NEWS FLASH!

As by now you well know, everything that has to do with the ‘real’ world almost certainly does not factor into my life. I know nothing about geography, thus quickly striking Worldly Knowledge from that list; I know nothing about politics – well, not “nothing” – I do have a rough idea who is in power in about 3 different countries. But please, note the word, rough. And finally, we stumble upon the news.

The news is something that only exists as a form of white noise in my life. Something that should be checked every so often, if for no other reason, than because I could end looking really stupid one day – “Who had a tsunami?!” But the news and I have never quite gelled. If there are no pretty pictures I am not interested.

Although, there exists the exception of when somebody else tells me what is going on or what has hit the news recently, then and only then will I go out of my way to read the entire story. Like the one I was pointed in the direction of the other day.

Have you ever woken up and before you placed one timid foot out of your duvet, experienced blush producing flash backs of the night before? Or finally managed to get on with your day/ your week but still with images that slam into your mind making the colour creep up your neck and engulf your face? How about the times that all you get are images that have been blacked out but carry with them an embarrassing soundtrack? Yes my friends, we have all been there.

Fear not though, the days bringing the Cringe (and other more life altering issues) could well be behind us, according to some researchers in New York. (http://uk.reuters.com/article/idUKTRE5B85HV20091209?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0)

These highly intelligent people have decided that with a window of between 10 minutes and 6 hours, bad memories could be eradicated. Miss the window and you’re stuffed. They state that through electric shocks and looking at blue squares, your bad memories could be replaced with good memories! This piece of news comes as quite a shock in the medication savvy world that we live in. No more pills? Heavens…what is the [pharmaceutical] world coming to?!

These scientists declare that their studies have been put into place in order to help those suffering from painful battle memories and those suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.

Now, as wonderful as this may seem, do we really know what the long term effects could be? How about the fact that wiping away ones memory as if it were a chalk board could lead to future troubles when trying to form new memories or live through experiences similar to those that were erased? I’m thinking it all looks like it could lead to one big brain fart…

I mean, for all things green and holy on this earth, we actually don’t really know what we’re playing with! It seems like a breakthrough, “Hoorah! No more pills! ECT and new memories for all!” Realistically, how many people are going to queue up just hours after having seen a bomb explode and voluntarily submit themselves to electric shock treatment to see what was worse, the memory of the bomb or the ECT? And where are we to erect these ECT stands? One next to all ATM machines? Corner shops? Newspaper stands? Unlikely, I think.

In theory, the idea sounds great. It could fix all; it could revolutionise the medical and psychological world and in theory, could right us all. The theory sounds wonderful, as often they do. But the world is already having trouble dealing with ‘traditional’ forms of maladies, how is it they suggest to hand out ECT memory cleaning therapy to all who claim to need it?

And who is going to decide who ‘deserves’ to be electrocuted? Frankly I’ve a few experiences I think I would rather not live with. Ranging from being too curious a child, early morning afros, the days before makeup was inextricably intertwined with my being and that-thing-I-saw-in-that-place-that-time-when-I shouldn’t-have-been-looking. All these things are traumatic enough to send me straight to an ECT bank.

But is it worth it? And what happened to good old psychotherapy? You know, lie back, relax and “…how does that make YOU feel?”